Perfectionism

Perfectionism often gets praised in our society. It can look like independence, high achievement, and exceptional standards. But beneath the surface, perfectionism can become exhausting and isolating, leading to chronic stress, burnout, and difficulty enjoying your accomplishments. If you find yourself constantly striving for an impossible standard, you’re not alone, and there is a path toward greater balance.

Understanding Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well. It’s often rooted in deeper fears about not being good enough, fear of judgment, or worry about disappointing others. While high standards can be motivating, perfectionism typically involves:

All-or-nothing thinking that makes “good enough” feel like failure
Intense self-criticism when things don’t go perfectly
Procrastination or avoidance when tasks feel overwhelming
Difficulty delegating or asking for help
Imposter syndrome and fear of being “found out”
Physical and emotional exhaustion from constant striving

Finding Balance

Perfectionism doesn’t have to rule your life. In therapy, we’ll work together to:

Explore the roots - Understand where perfectionist patterns developed and what purpose they served
Challenge unhelpful thinking - Learn to recognize and question the inner critic that demands perfection
Develop self-compassion - Practice kindness toward yourself when things don’t go as planned
Set realistic standards - Find the sweet spot between excellence and flexibility
Build tolerance for uncertainty - Learn to move forward even when you can’t control every outcome
Create sustainable habits - Develop routines that support your wellbeing rather than depleting it

Moving Forward

As perfectionist patterns shift, many clients notice they can engage more fully in their work and relationships. Without the constant pressure of unrealistic expectations, there’s space to focus on what’s meaningful and to approach challenges with greater flexibility and self-compassion.

Primary approaches: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT)

Ready to find balance and ease the burden of perfectionism? Contact me to schedule a consultation.